In this follow-up to the Art of Resilience, we’ll be unpacking the habits of resilient people. As we touched on previously, resilience is the ability to extract nutrient rich sustenance from our experiences, while leaving the empty calories behind. Through resilience we’re able to face, overcome, and be personally strengthened by the challenges and adversity we face. Resilience doesn’t solve or prevent problems; however, it helps you cope and adjust to avoid being overwhelmed with the circumstances.
Based on your experiences, you may have a realistic understanding of your resilience level. However, if you question it or wonder how you’d fare if assessed, here’s a quick and free assessment tool. If you test unfavorably, fear not! The good news is that resilience is a skill that can be cultivated.
When considering the habits of resilient people, I thought it might be helpful to parse the information into categories addressing the various ways resilient people approach life.
Resilient People Know
Suffering is part of the human experience. As pessimistic as that may sound, it is a reality. One that resilient people completely get. While accepting this idea as reality, they don’t become consumed with it. They live life on their terms. Understanding there’s no guarantee of an anguish free existence, better equips you to cope in the face of hardship.
Resilient People Think
A positive attitude may not solve all problems but it’s the better perspective to have for overcoming problems. Resilient people are adept at harnessing the power of positivity and optimism as life skills. They choose the role of survivor over victim and actively repurpose their negative experiences. Positive thinking isn’t a magic elixir, but it allows you to do all things better than negative thinking will.
Resilient People Are
Intentional about what they devote their attention and energy to. They know the value of both. They recognize that time spent on the wrong thoughts or with the wrong people can be harmful to their emotional well-being. Clinging to joy at difficult times or focusing on the good, is an active measure to connect with gratitude and purpose your energy in useful and beneficial ways.
Resilient People Have
Mental clarity and toughness. Not suggesting they’re bionic or impervious to stress, pain, or trauma. However, in the face of these and other hardships, resilient folks maintain a level of objectivity, rational thinking, and focus. When things fall apart, they keep presence of mind. This takes self-awareness, the ability to center the problem (not yourself), and the presence & fortitude to know you have what it takes to prevail, irrespective of the circumstance.
Resilient People Stress Test
Is it serving me or is it hurting me? This is a question resilient people ask themselves regularly. They ask it of their behavior, their thoughts, their expectations, their relationships etc. This isn’t done futilely. On the contrary, they act if the answer is no. Asking the question makes them active participants in their experience. It facilitates control over decision making, empowering them to stop engaging in ways that don’t serve them. This is self-care in action; a way of being kind to yourself and freeing up capacity.
There are additional noteworthy habits of resilient people like having a healthy sense of humor, a supportive network, and a strong spiritual connection. These I view as common sense and foundational for life. What I’ve shared above, I view as both habit and strategy.
Resilience is a skill that can be learned and honed over time. It isn’t easy and doesn’t cure all, but as a coach, I’ve successfully worked with clients to grow their resilience muscles. If you have questions about what it takes to develop a resilience mindset, contact me here.